*Jon Orr is a Youth Sports Advocate and Founder of The Sports Reclamation Project. http://www.sportsreclamationproject.com.
Youth Sports ESPECIALLY Recreational Youth Sports is an interesting landscape. With the majority of them being volunteer run organizations, you will inevitably come across youth coaches with a broad range of skills and shortcomings. While I will maintain anyone volunteering their time so your athlete has an opportunity to play sports will always have my respect and gratitude. I also understand that some also may have an agenda that does not coincide with what you are looking for in a youth coach. Now while my automatic response is; “If you think you can do better please volunteer!. I understand that it is not always a simple as that, So I would like to provide you with some Do’s and Don’ts on how to approach and deal with specific types of coaches your athlete may encounter in their Youth Sports Journey.
The Professor-This Coach teaches/coaches over the kids heads. Often attempting to teach a complex skills or offenses to kids struggling to do the most basic skills. Often due to inexperience this coach prefers to have his players run before they walk.
Do- Spend time working with your athlete outside of practice on the skills they lack while making it fun. Empathize with them is they are frustrated, and try and help them understand what is being taught.
Don’t- Disregard or encourage them to ignore or disregard what is being taught. While those skills, and complex offense are ineffective and pointless now they will not be later, so early exposure even if unclear can not hurt them
The “Parent” Coach- One of the most common types of youth coaches in existence. This is the coach that focuses the whole team around their child. Often giving them choice of position, and every opportunity to be successful. Sometimes in spite of the teams best interest, his or her child will always be the center of team, and this often spreads to assistant coaches kids and their friends as well.
Do- Use it as a teaching moment. Life will not always be fair, and the earlier your athlete learns and understands that the better it will be. Encourage them to continue to work on their skills, and to “be so good, they can’t ignore you.” While this may not pay off this season, but it will in the future when they are in a different environment.
Don’t- Victimize your athlete! Yes it is an unfair situation, but telling your athlete this creates a victim mentality, and excuses them from the work they need to do to improve on their skills.
The Bully-This coach leads by intimidation! Often yelling at, humiliating and berating players. Never satisfied with the best effort, and thriving off a culture of fear. Coaches like this often contribute to the loss of love, and early drop out of sports.
Do- Watch this coach closely to make sure lines are not being crossed verbally or physically. Address all issues and concerns with this coach privately, and with a calm demeanor. This coach like most bullies thrives off power and fear, so do not give them the power of being angry when you address them.
Don’t- Ignore signs of problematic behavior. With the bully coach many parents fear speaking out because of the effect it might have on their athletes playing time. Your athletes playing time, is not worth their mental health, and loss of enjoyment. So if you see something concerning address it.
The Inexperienced Coach- This coach while often well meaning has no experience coaching, and or playing the sport. Usually the most genuine of coaches they are often overwhelmed, and unprepared leading to a very chaotic practice and team atmosphere.
Do- Privately approach the coach and offer whatever support you can provide to help out. Approach them from the angle that you want to help them and the team, as not to be critical or overbearing.
Don’t- Engage in criticism with other parents, and spectators (trust me it will be happening.), and most certainly do not try to undermine their authority by coaching from the bleachers. This creates confusion for the athletes and chaos for the team.
Coaching Youth Sports is difficult, and being a Youth Sports Parent is difficult. However, what if instead of coaches and parents being at odds, they worked together to ensure the athletes on the court or field had the best experience possible? Do you think that would reduce the Youth Sports Attrition Rate, and allow our athletes to keep their love of sport ? I do! Thanks for reading!
Jon Orr
Founder
The Sports Reclamation Project
